Oh my new vacuum cleaner...if society didn't frown on the love between man and vacuum, I'D MARRY YOU!

New Product Reviews! This Hoover Sucks like a hunnid' dallah' WHORE!!! I got this new Hoover vacuum cleaner yesterday with my friends Rich and Deb. This thing rocks! My other vacuum blew up and spewed filth to the 4 corners of my house. It was like the snow of Apsen. Except that by snow I mean dust bunnies and hair, and by Aspen I mean a pile of my dirty clothes. So I ran out and picked this thing up. Whoo hoo! Now I know where they got the term “Suck it like a Hoover!” The biomass of the dust in my house blew my mind! I could have made a filth-coat out of it. There was probably enough of my DNA in that pile of…of…filth to clone myself. That would be something, huh? Little dust clones of myself running around, making mischief. I really need a hobby... I give this Hoover 4 stars for crap cleanin' capabilities. To get one, go here.