The Catholic Church doesn't want you to read this evil book! So quick...READ IT!

Catholics once again summon the magical WAAAAMbulance over book For the last several days I've been listening to The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown on audio book (makes time with the corporate overlords fly by in a flash) and have really been enjoying the experience. For one it’s a great action thriller with tons of intrigue and foreign locals with interesting characters who figure out complex puzzles. Second, it completely bashes the Catholic Church, the pope, and has an albino for a main character. The only thing keeping it from becoming the greatest time the world has seen since “My Giant” with Billy Crystal would be the inclusion of midgets racing elephants in the nude. Of course the Catholic Church went gaga apeshit when this book was released and I can understand why. If the church was called into action on this why didn’t they excommunicate me when I asked several years ago? It was so simple…to commit heresy (bad mouthing the church basically) will be met with excommunication. This I do all the time, at tea parties, at bingo meetings, at Roman bath orgies. I sent a letter to Cardinal Roger Mahoney asking him for becoming a Catholic “ ex”and gave concrete reasons why, but to no avail. They don’t follow those “policies” anymore. Oh well, worth a try anyway… So the once and proud Catholic church, who’s held such amazing parties as the inquisition, killed millions of pesky women who they branded “witches”, stomped on those silly gays rights for so long, seem to have become nothing more then mewing crybabies. Hey Catholic Church! Where’s the violence? Enough with bitching about stuff! I wanna see some goddamn violence! Burn shit! Get on those cool black hoods and whip shit up! No, they get tissues for their issues and boycott things. I can’t wait to make something that will be officially boycotted by the church. Could you picture it? Some new movie comes out entitled “The Pope’s Rosey Ass Tastes like Candy” and the Catholic Church, of course, boycotts. But, once inside the theater, everyone gets FREE BEER! Outside the news would come of the treasure lurking inside. Grumbles would follow from people with picket signs. Contrary to popular belief you CAN have fun with Catholics.